Over a two year stretch in one of my favorite reads, Medium, narcissism gets over 200 mentions. Barely 10% of those “authors” have any degree to make such a diagnosis and 95% of them are women. As with too much of the #MeToo cult, they’ve turned an insult into a grudge into a feud. And they are damned determined to make you gather up your pitchfork and join them. Of course, the confection of #MeToo taught us that when it comes to victimhood, it’s a hungry world out there.
In the three clusters of personality disorders, narcissism falls into cluster B: antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic. Any and all of these disorders demand at least two things: recognition that these are significant and limiting problems for relationships, work, school, and social activities and a clinical diagnosis by a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. But we get little of that from these stentorian phonies.
It may be glib to accuse someone of being schizoid, obsessive compulsive, or antisocial as well as narcissistic when they do something that seems relational, and we get to display our high school psych vocab. But these legion accusers, rampant on social media, can present no medical diagnosis of the accused nor do the accused get a voice; you know, believe every accuser until they are proved wrong. Still, rare is the accuser who has anything close to a degree to make such a diagnosis. They don’t even qualify as Newhart psychologist.
I work with a fellow who often pops hard mints. Oh, yeah he’s OC. And he crunches those mints to my wanting to throttle him. I have Misophonia. Truth is he just likes mints, it’s a habit, and it calms his nerves. He is a very successful professional, father, and husband. When I say he is OC, I am kidding. I hardly think he needs a psychological work up or to be raged against just because it bugs me.
Here’s the usual finger pointing, bellyaching drumming: I was raised by, married, dated, or had sex with a narcissist. I escaped it. Heyyyy, are you unhappy? Does your sex life suck? Are you depressed and anxious? Did you/do you have an autoimmune disease? MeToo! Well, gals, I’m here to save you. It ain’t you babe. It was/is that asshole narcissist. Read my book (a few out there are self-published), read all about it or join my familial reflection or divorce/split up sex and relationship course and we’ll kick those little narcissist’s booties around.
Notably, if you really feel you are trapped in abuse, be it narcissism or any other interruption to your well-being, seek real professional help. That is what licensed psychologist do, and they do it for much less than these self-anointed “coaches” ask for. Still, if you are really looking for some social media person to guide you, at least check the credentials for a therapist with a genuine degree.
I would direct you to Soi-disant therapist, but I don’t want to give them any space. Just throw “narcissist” down in your web browser and have a good read about, well, yourself. By the time you’re finished with around five of six of these epistles, you’ll be convinced anyone with a modicum of personality and responsibility is a narcissist. In the end all you’re reading is shovel full after shovel full of monotonous, meme-making bullshit.
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